


Change of Course

by regulusluvies



Series: What Could've Happened [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:40:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29015268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regulusluvies/pseuds/regulusluvies
Summary: An alternate universe fic where Regulus leaves the Black family home with Sirius, and moves in with the Potter's as well, to his {initial} discomfort. Featuring; Lily and Mary being cute, Dorcas and Marlene being extra chaotic, and Minerva and Poppy being absolutely amazing. (also Petunia retribution later on maybe?)
Relationships: Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Mary Macdonald/Lily Evans Potter, Minerva McGonagall/Poppy Pomfrey, Petunia Evans Dursley/Vernon Dursley, Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: What Could've Happened [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128599
Comments: 12
Kudos: 76





	1. Fifth Year, Part One / Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so to start;  
> I'm hoping to update at least once or twice a week, but that could change.  
> Also, this is a bit short, but it's been sitting in my drafts for like a couple days now and I've been so busy so I just wanted to post it because maybe that'll motivate me to write more. yay.  
> anyways I have a bunch of future scenes that I might include in a separate part in this series, so if I do, read that at your own discretion, because it will have heavy spoilers.
> 
> I hope you enjoy :)

James Potter was happy to be returning to school. 

It had been far too long, in his mind, since he had gone back, and the fact that he had recently been informed of his duties as a Prefect only further exacerbated that desire. 

As soon as he waved goodbye to his parents on the platform at Kings Cross, he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror, which he flashed a quick grin. 

His black hair was just as wild as usual, and the bright sunlight really brought out his golden-brown skin and dark eyes, making him look even more roguish than usual, he thought. 

He made his way around the platform, and spotting a familiar trio of boys, James smiled. There was a tall one with tawny brown curls, a short one with wavy, shoulder-length dark hair, and an even shorter one with mousy blonde hair, all three of which turned and smiled back at him. 

He quickly wiped down his glasses, and then made his way towards them, “Oi, Moons, Pads, Wormy,” he called out, using their little group’s nicknames for each other. 

“Prongsie!” Sirius exclaimed, embracing his friend tightly. 

“Hey James,” Remus responded with a small smile, joining in on the hug. 

“Don’t forget me,” Peter said, with his usual quiet tone. 

Not missing a beat, James asked, “Where’s Evans? I want to show off my new badge.”

“You’ve already forgotten about us? Wow,” Sirius said, in false betrayal. 

“Shut up mate, I saw you three only last week,” James responded with a laugh, playfully punching the other boy’s shoulder. 

“I think I saw her over with Meadowes and McKinnon, by the clock,” Remus supplied, “I can’t believe you’re a prefect too.”

“Thanks,” James said, rolling his eyes, before waving bye to the three of them. 

Under normal circumstances, he would’ve felt bad for leaving them behind, but he had seen them frequently over the Summer Hols, so it wasn’t _that_ bad. 

He made his way through the crowd of people, spotting numerous familiar faces, although because of his silver Prefect’s badge, most of the crowd got out of his way. 

Winding his way around one of the far columns, James looked over at the train, making sure it was nowhere near leaving. 

All of a sudden, he bumped into someone else; “Sorry about that,” he started, before realizing who he was talking too. 

A small grin grew on James’ face, “Hey Reggie.”

The other boy glared up at him with his piercing silver eyes, which somehow managed to be eerily similar, yet far different than Sirius’ at the same time; “Don’t call me that, _Potter_.”

James smirked, “Sorry then, Reg.”

Noticing obvious dark circles under the boy’s eyes, James’ tone changed to one of comfort, “is everything okay?”

Regulus looked horrified for a second, before his face hardened, and he snapped, “You can never understand what I’m going through.”

James gave him a quizzical look, and the shorter boy gritted his teeth. 

He shot James one last venomous look, before striding over to talk to Barty Crouch, dragging his suitcase behind him. 

As James returned to making his way over to where Lily was standing with Marlene and Dorcas, a small voice spoke up in his head. 

“ _He’s not that bad to look at, you know_.”

James blinked, and shook his head involuntarily. He had no idea where that thought had come from. It wasn’t like it wasn’t necessarily true though, even James had to admit he was quite handsome. 

_A man can recognize when another man is attractive_ , James thought, although images of Regulus’ face kept popping into his mind; the boy’s pale skin and high cheekbones accented by his dark, closely-cropped hair, his dark grey eyes framed by his long eyelashes, and brought out by his sharp, dark eyebrows. 

His brooding thoughts were interrupted by Marlene calling out to him, “Oi, Jamie, there you are, I was just telling Evans here how I beat you twenty-seven times at darts last year.”

“You still haven’t clarified _where_ you beat him,” Lily added, purposefully avoiding looking at James. 

Still zoning back into reality, James was thankful that Marlene continued, “Like I said, twenty-eight times at the Three Broomsticks. Ask Madame Rosmerta.”

“I thought you said twenty-seven,” Dorcas added, with a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. 

“It was actually only twenty-three,” James clarified. 

“Oi, _fuck you it was not_!” Marlene shouted, playfully, attracting the attention of half the people around them. 

“I would know, you were completely out of it on firewhiskey the whole time.”

Marlene shushed him, “Shut up, I can’t have everyone knowing I’m breaking the law. Plus, I remember it was twenty-seven.”

“You did say it was twenty-eight,” James replied with a grin, at which Marlene slapped his wrist. 

James flicked her arm in return, before turning his attention to Lily, “Anyways. Evans, notice the new badge?”

She rolled her eyes, “Obviously. I’m a prefect too, you know.”

“So, what do you think?”

She gave a light-hearted smirk, “Frankly, I’m shocked and appalled that you would be given a position of authority at school, but who am I to judge.”

James clutched his chest in mock-horror, before Dorcas interrupted them, “Train’s about to leave.”

“Oh, before you go, did you see Mary?” Lily asked James, with a note of excitement in her voice.  
“No, sorry,” he responded, jealous that he wasn’t getting the same attention. “Well, I’ll be going now. See you lot later.”

“Bye Jamie,” Marlene replied, and as her brown eyes danced with laughter, she added, “and it _was_ twenty seven.”

“Do you mean the shots you had?” James asked, before running off laughing, narrowly avoiding Marlene’s fist.

James didn’t see Regulus again as he made his way back to the other Marauders, but he didn’t think much of it, the boy was probably off with all his pureblood friends.

“There you are, let’s go get a compartment before all the good ones are gone,” Sirius said. 

Remus frowned, “Jamie and I actually have to go to the Prefect Cabin for a briefing. But we can join you two after that, hopefully.”

“Whatever. We’re cool enough without them, right Wormy?”

Peter grimaced at the use of his nickname, and then nodded, with a smile on his face, “Obviously. We don’t need their fancy badges.”

Sirius gave a solemn nod, and then laughed, before taking Peter’s arm with one hand, and his luggage with the other. 

“Alright, James. You ready?”

“Of course,” James grinned. 

This year might turn out to be one of the best so far, he thought, as he waved to Lily and Dorcas, who were approaching the Prefect Car at the same time as he and Remus. 

As it turned out, the orientation was only a couple of minutes long, and consisted of McGonagalll talking to them through a large mirror about rules and regulations, and “Punishments for _those_ who fail to adhere to the _proper rules_.”

Even though he knew she couldn’t see them, James just knew she was talking directly to him with that last part. 

After they snagged some snacks from the Prefect’s cupboard, they made their way down the corridor, luckily not passing any Slytherins. 

They slid open the door, eliciting surprised looks from Sirius and Peter. 

“That was quick,” Peter said, looking up from the summer work he was racing to complete on the journey. 

“What do you have?” Sirius asked, eyeing the pockets of their robes. 

“Some treats. Perks of being a prefect,” Remus explained. 

“Lucky,” Peter said. 

As they handed out the food, James asked, “Rem, are you going to share any of that chocolate?”

Remus turned red; “What chocolate? I didn’t know we had any?”

“It’s in your robe,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. 

“Whatever. It’s mine.”

“Alright then,” James said, putting his hands up. 

After that, the train journey went by quite quickly. The _Express_ snaked its way through the midlands, and then the highlands, before mountains rose up on the sides, and they were in upper Scotland. 

Peter appeared to grow ever more panicked as the landscape continued to change, and at one point, Remus sat down to help him. 

By the time the tips of Hogwarts were showing through the end of the valley the train was chugging through, Peter had finished, and the four were changing into their school robes. 

When the train came to a stop, James glanced out of the windows, and saw the glowing lights of the school reflecting onto the lake. 

He smiled, and then turned back to his friends. 

He couldn’t wait for what this year would entail, but the thought of Regulus continued to nag at the back of his mind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a ton of future plans for this, but I won't reveal them here, at least for now.  
> Anyways, thank you so much for reading, it means a lot <3


	2. Fifth Year, Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> September to December of fifth year. Something huge happens with Regulus and Sirius, upending the Black family dynamic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so first;  
> I'm was super busy with the end of my semester this week so I haven't been able to write as much as i wanted to, but now that im done (woohoo) hopefully I can get chapters out faster (maybe)  
> anyways this is way shorter than i wanted it to be, but i also wanted to finish it tonight, soooooo... here it is :)
> 
> {also there's not much dialogue in this chapter, and i tried out a new structure, so i dont really know how I feel about it yet}

**TW: Referenced Abuse**

**September + October**

To James, it seemed like the year was similar enough to normal, but there was a slightly darker feeling in the air, everything was a bit more dismal. Rumors of dark wizards in Albania were spreading, with apparent sightings in France and Belgium, although the worst of their attacks were seen in Britain. 

Of course, the Ministry pretended that nothing was really happening, and wrote off the several odd incidents that had occured since June as ‘accidents’, and nothing more. It didn’t help slow these suspicions at all, considering that the Slytherins were getting bolder in their anti muggle-born sentiment, citing a new ‘dark lord’ as reasoning for what they were doing. The Daily Prophet dismissed the claims as bogus, but when James wrote his parents, they said that there was definitely some truth to it; they had been noticing what was happening, and there was no positive explanation for it. 

In the meantime, at Hogwarts, James had somewhat given up on pursuing Lily. He had been trying for years, and frankly, he was done with it. She clearly wasn’t interested; she had made that plenty clear. 

Plus, he had other things to worry about, with OWLS coming up that year, in addition to his Prefect duties. His classes were getting harder, and it seemed that morale among the Gryffindors was dropping, mostly because of a combination of said classwork, and the increasingly horrendous behavior of Slytherin house. He and Sirius staged several pranks, and although Remus and Peter did help once or twice, Remus was worried about having his Prefect badge revoked, and Peter was already falling behind in classes, he couldn't afford to use his free time for anything other than studying. 

It was sometime in mid-october when James fully gave up with Lily; walking in on her snogging Mary during a Quidditch after-party. Sure, he wasn’t  _ that _ surprised, considering how close they had gotten, seemingly out of nowhere, but it was still jarring to see two of his closest friends smashing their mouths together like there was no tomorrow. 

He remembered the many odd times that Lily had wandered off with Mary during their Hogsmeade trips the year before, (and among many other things), the absolutely loving way they looked at each other, and it all made sense. 

In fact, it was right at that moment that the last of his feelings for Lily died. He knew he could never be selfish enough to continue pining after her when she had someone she loved the way she did Mary; that would be a horrible thing to do. 

When Sirius brought up the fact that he hadn’t asked her out in weeks, all James said in response was, “I’m not really into her anymore”.

His friends, of course, were shocked, but Lily and Mary were none too surprised, clearly having seen his face during  _ that _ party, and all James could do was smile weakly in response. 

Later in October, his parents invited him home for Diwali that year, and he gladly accepted, needing a break from school and his friends. It was nice to just be with his parents for a bit, and to be able to take a breather from Hogwarts, but before he knew it, he was back already, and the endless slog of schoolwork, prefect meetings, and now, Quidditch Practices, started anew. 

**November**

It was sometime in November when James fully talked to Regulus for the first time.

He had been making Prefect rounds after hours down by the dungeon, when he found Regulus alone in a hallway, staring at the ceiling, with dried tears on his face. 

James silently approached, moonlight glinting off his glasses, “Reg? Are you alright?”

Regulus’ head snapped towards him, “Don’t fucking call me that,” he growled. 

“Alright then. But is everything good with you?” James asked, rolling his eyes at first. 

“It’s fine,” Regulus muttered, pointedly looking away. 

James quickly sat down next to him, putting his hand on Regulus’ knee, much to the other boy’s chagrin, “ _ What’re you doing _ ?”

“Trying to help,” James said, matter-of-factly. 

“How, exactly?”

James shrugged, “I dunno. How do you want me to help?”

Regulus gaped at him, and then scoffed, before muttering, “Why are you so nice to me?”

“What do you mean?”

“You weren’t meant to respond to that.”

“You still asked me.”

Regulus sighed, before getting up, and casting James one more unreadable look, “I just don’t understand why you treat me so well. You’re so horrible to the other Slytherins, but you’ve never done anything directly mean to me. And it’s not like I’ve been particularly nice to you either. So, why?”

James shrugged again, and Regulus sighed sharply, walking away. 

James furrowed his brow, thinking seriously about why he had been so nice to Regulus; the other boy did have a point, after all. There was absolutely no reason for him to not be mean, and in fact, all the more so for him to do the opposite, when he considered what Regulus had done to Sirius over their years at Grimmauld Place together.

Even this year, Sirius had come back to school with several dozen bruises, and according to him, at least a half-dozen were from Regulus. 

It completely passed by him why he was so nice to the younger Black brother, but he couldn’t bring himself to villainize him, it just felt wrong. 

After their little encounter earlier in the month, Regulus was nowhere to be seen, and although James tried to brush it off, he found himself wandering the dungeon hallways during his shifts, subconsciously hoping that he would ‘accidentally’ bump into the other boy, but his efforts came to no avail. It upset him that he hadn’t seen the other boy in nearly two weeks by the end of the month, but at the same time, he questioned why he was even upset about it; it wasn’t like Regulus was a positive presence in his life. James supposed that it was because of his innate desire to help those around him, which largely led to what his Mom referred to as a “forgetfulness of himself”. 

The month of November itself was colder than usual, and the first snow fell only a day into the month. By the fifteenth, there was already a half-meter of solidly built-up snow around the property, and really the entire area. 

The Hogsmeade weekends were fun, but getting down there in the snow was absolutely awful. As usual, James spent much of their time there with Marlene and Sirius, sneaking drinks from behind the bar while under the invisibility cloak, and messing with the dart board. 

Schoolwork was hard, but surprisingly, less so than earlier in the year. There were several projects going on in Herbology, but other than that, his classes had started to wane down for the year. 

**December**

Even though James had asked Sirius to stay with the Potter’s over the Winter Hols, the other boy was forced to decline, glumly showing James a notice of his “required presence” at Grimmauld Place. 

James tried to keep him happy over the remaining two weeks they had at school, but it was nearly impossible; Sirius not helping with any pranks, skipping the only Hogsmeade weekend, and even avoiding detentions because of how little he had really done  _ anything _ since he had gotten the letter. 

When the day finally came for them to leave, James tried to lift the mood, starting a game of exploding snap during the train ride, but Sirius chose not to play, instead staring out the window at the grey and barren countryside. 

When the  _ Express _ rolled into the station, his face was even paler than usual, and James only had a moment to say goodbye, before Walburga snatched her older son away, baring her teeth at the Potter heir. 

Regulus gave James a weirdly pensive look as he stepped through the barrier, to James’ surprise, but Sirius didn’t look up from the brick floor once. 

Remus and Peter did drop by a couple times over the Hols, but it wasn’t really the same, and even though Peter did live down the street, having Sirius physically being in the same house was just different. 

Christmas rounded the corner rapidly, and even if James’ family didn’t really celebrate, they still had a small gift exchange, which was something to look forward to. James ended up getting a new broom, which he was ecstatic about, and a new Quidditch practice box. The mood dimmed a bit when his Dad gave him a book of defensive spells, saying something about how James may “need to use them sooner than you think”, wiping the smile off Euphemia’s face. 

The two tried to brush off what had just happened, but James tried pushing them for information, albeit to no avail. All he knew was that a dark wizard had arisen in Albania, and had since moved his sights to Britain, attempting to terrorize local muggles and muggle-borns. 

Dinner was nice, and the meal was quite pleasant, until  _ it _ happened. It would probably be the most shocking thing that had ever happened or would happen in James’ life.

An unconscious Sirius tumbled out of the fireplace, completely passed out, shortly thereafter followed by Regulus, who was screaming something about closing the floo “immediately”. 

Still in shock, James watched as Euphemia sealed the floo channels with her wand, while Fleamont tended to the boys, cleaning the soot off of them, and trying to figure out what had happened to Sirius. 

James simply sat there, wondering what the fuck had just happened. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this is really bad el oh el;;;;;;  
> anyways feel free to comment and don't forget to drink water today <3


	3. Recuperation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Regulus recover from the other night, and recount what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooo im so talented i wrote this in two hours and im running on four cups off coffee and two hours of sleep yayyyyyyayyayayayayayy  
> anwyas i hope yall like it :))))))))

**TW: Referenced Emotional and Physical abuse, very brief mention of blood.**

James was still reeling from the night before, when Regulus and Sirius had tumbled out of the fireplace, Sirius knocked out, and Regulus shaking in fear, mandating the closure of the Potter’s floo immediately. 

Before he passed out, all Regulus divulged was that the Black family had been gathered in Grimmauld Place, and some sort of recruiting ritual had gone drastically wrong, with Walburga and Bellatrix inflicting the crucio curse on Sirius. Regulus had intervened, and when they turned it on him, he disarmed his mother, and pulled his brother into the fireplace, leaving the house. 

Sirius had been cursed so badly that he still hadn’t awakened, and Fleamont had had to go down to St. Mungo’s to pick up an assortment of healing draughts and potions, while Euphemia had been tending to Regulus. 

Someone had apparently used a cutting curse on his leg, and he had nearly bled out by the time Mrs. Potter had him stabilized. 

James hadn’t gone to sleep since then, having waited outside one of the Potter’s various guest suites that Regulus was staying in. He had tried to set up a spare room for Sirius, spelling the walls to be gold and red, and setting up some of his own Quidditch Posters on the walls, even though he knew Sirius might not be staying for long. He sat down against the wall near the steps for just a moment, and before he knew it, he was drifting off to sleep. 

All of a sudden, he jerked awake, on the floor of the hall. Late-afternoon sunlight streamed in through the hall window, and when he glanced at the clock, he realized that it was nearly four o’clock. 

He could hear Euphemia and Fleamont speaking in hushed voices in the hall, so James quietly crept past the doors, towards Sirius’, which was newly closed. 

He slowly turned the knob, and to his surprise, found Regulus sitting on the bed, looking down at his brother. A bandage was wrapped around his left leg, and a smaller one covered the space above his left eyebrow, where he had hit his head when arriving through the floo. 

Sirius lay on the bed, completely knocked out, with multiple empty bottles on the bedside table. His skin was a sickly pallor, and he looked ill. 

“Potter,” Regulus greeted, although the acknowledgement lacked its usual malice. 

“You can call me James, you know,” the other boy said lightly, with a small smile. 

Regulus simply pursed his lips in response, and James, changing the subject, asked, “How is he?”

“Fine as he could be, I suppose. Mum, she… got him far more times than she normally ever does.”

Concern flashed across James’ face, “If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly happened?” he said, as he sat down on the bed next to Regulus, with Sirius still still passed out behind them. 

Whatever happiness that was in Regulus’ face melted away, and he clenched his fists, digging his nails into his palms. 

“It's alright if you don’t want to talk about it,” James said, although he was quickly quieted by Regulus, “No. I just… I need to talk about it. I need to accept what happened and learn to not be such a child about it.”

“You’re not being a child,” James said sharply, “It’s absolutely normal to not want to talk about it.”

Regulus glanced over at him briefly, before continuing, “It was an important evening. My parents, and - and my cousins and aunts and uncles, of course, minus Andromeda and Great-Uncle Alfred, or whatever his name is, were there. My Mum wanted us to.. she wanted to recruit us. To _his_ cause”. Regulus finished slowly, staring off into space. 

James gritted his teeth, “How _dare_ she. That’s not a decision anyone makes for anyone else. Or a decision anyone should be making anyways, rather. I can’t believe - I can’t believe she’s even allowed to take care of children.”

Regulus' face faintly lit up with rage, although it wasn’t directed at James, “She isn’t empathetic at all. She isn’t fit to take care of anyone,” he stopped, seemingly appalled at his tone, before continuing, “But, well, she wanted to have us marked, with the mark of _his_ followers. Bella already had it, and Narcissa got hers that night, but.. she looked uncomfortable about it. Almost like she didn’t want it. She didn’t do anything though, she let it happen, and then she kind of just.. sat there. Looked dead inside,” his breath hitched, “And then - and then, it was Sirius and my turn. She.. my Mother.. tried to make Sirius go first,” his face distorted with jealousy, “She’s always given him second chances. Never me. Because _he’s_ the heir, and I’m just the _stupid_ little younger son she never wanted-”

Regulus caught himself, looking at James in concern, “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I know he’s your friend.”

James looked back at him quizzically, “Well, that doesn’t change your feelings. It’s still true.”

With an odd expression on his face, Regulus went back to focusing on an obscure knot in the wood of the floorboards, “When he said no, which of course, he always has to stand up to her, she asked again, and he said he would never join her cause. Then, she used the curse on him,” his voice shuddered again, “The cruciatus. And she did it again. And again. And then made Bella do it. And Cissa. Cissa didn’t want to, but Bella said she didn’t have a problem with cursing her own sister, so she had to do it. And then, they turned to me. My Mum, she said, she said that it would be my recruitment. To do it to him. And I guess,” he paused for a moment, “Something snapped in me. I didn’t want to be complicit in her hatred anymore,” he spat, “And I said I wouldn’t. She didn’t even give me the benefit of the doubt, she immediately crucioed me. But, I guess, being used to it, I was able to disarm her, and then-”  
James interrupted again, “ _She’s done it before_?”

Regulus nodded after a moment, “Yes.. I mean, it’s her.. preferred method of punishment.”

“ _What the bloody hell is wrong with that absolute_ -” James paused, “I hope you don’t mind me talking shit about her.”

Regulus smiled again, “Not at all. Anyways, after that, I kind of just grabbed Sirius with one hand, and stuffed his wand in my pocket. I already had my own. And then I took the floo powder with me, and dove into the fireplace, but Bella, she got me with… a cutting curse. And yours was the first place I could think of. Then, well, you know the rest. I fell into your kitchen, and immediately passed out.”

“Can I hug you?” James asked, nonchalantly. 

Regulus paled, “What?”

“Can I hug you. You seem like you need a hug,” James stated, matter-of-factly. 

“Um, alright,” Regulus started, and James instantly wrapped his arms around him. For a second Regulus just sat there, unsure as what to do. James’ unruly hair was in his face, and he was so close that Regulus could smell his shampoo. 

“Is that eucalyptus?”

James grinned, “Yeah,” and slowly pulled away. 

“That was my first hug in a long time. Not to be awkward or anything, it was just odd.”

“Well, I’ll be here for you.”

Regulus sighed, “It still annoys me how nice you are. I know I’ve said this before, but I’ve been horrible to you. Why are you so bloody nice?”

“Why not? You had the morals, at least I think that’s the right term, to save your brother and yourself, and to stand up to your abusive family.”

Regulus shivered involuntarily, “They’re not abusive.”

“Yes, they are. No healthy family does that.”  
“They’re still my family.”

“It doesn’t mean they’re a good family.”

Regulus opened and closed his mouth, wanting to say something else, but the two were interrupted by Sirius stirring in bed, his silver eyes slowly fluttering open.

“Oh, shit,” James exclaimed, “I need to get Moony.”

Regulus leaned back, and gave a weak smile, “See you later, I guess.”

“Of course, Reggie,” James smiled, bringing him in for another hug. 

Regulus rolled his eyes, but the gesture lacked any ill intentions. 

Remus arrived only a moment after James called him through the mirrors that they had exchanged the summer before; luckily, Sirius had had the good thinking to not hold onto his over the Winter Hols, instead handing his off to Remus. If he hadn’t, it would probably be lost forever at Grimmauld Place. 

James barely even had a couple minutes to fill in Sirius on everything before Remus burst into the room, and Sirius’ face lit up, the two immediately engaging in quiet conversation. 

James wasn’t jealous of their friendship, mostly because it was clearly something more, but it was obvious that they weren’t exactly ready to accept that yet. He wasn’t going to push them into doing anything though, it was better for them to figure it out on their own, so he let them have their quiet little conversations, and unusually touchy behavior in peace. 

Peter would’ve come, but he was away seeing family in France, so he wouldn’t be able to see Sirius until term resumed. 

Fleamont and Euphemia got them takeaway from the local Thai place that evening, and although Regulus did join the other three boys in the dining room, he didn’t say a word, and left as soon as he was done eating, holing up in his room for the rest of the night. 

Remus finally left near midnight, and after he and Sirius shared an unusually long hug, he stepped through the fireplace, and back to his Mom’s house. 

Even though Hope wasn’t a witch, Euphemia had pulled some strings to have her house connected to the floo network, and that night, she had patched a direct line to the Potter’s, so Remus using it wouldn’t open either house up to Walburga and Orion. 

Remus’ father, Lyall, had abandoned his wife and son when Remus was bitten, and hadn’t been seen since. There were rumors that he was in Magical Auckland, completely on the other side of the world, but neither Hope, nor Remus, had any intentions of going after him, which was completely understandable; the man had left his son and non-magical wife behind with no assistance and no connections whatsoever to the magical world, nearly causing Hope to abandon her son to a boys institution in central London. Somehow, she managed to hold on until she was reconnected to Magical Society when Remus was off to Hogwarts, building her own network of contacts and support for herself and Remus, largely centered around the Potters and Pettigrews. 

After Sirius went up to bed, and it was just James and his parents in the kitchen, they informed him of their intentions to secure custody of Regulus and Sirius via the Ministry’s Child Services Department, at least through the end of their time at Hogwarts. Fleamont and Euphemia were optimistic, but they didn’t hide their doubts, which worried James. 

He went to bed not long after, and awoke around three in the morning, feeling parched. As he made his way down the hall, he heard an odd sound coming from Regulus’ room. 

With a start, he realized it was the boy muttering something, interspersed with muffled sobs. 

James immediately stepped into Regulus’ room, and found him tangled in his sheets, shivering and eyes plastered closed, in the midst of a nightmare. 

“Reggie?” James asked, but there was no answer; he continued to shake and whisper nonsensical phrases, the only words of which James were able to pick up were “Mum,” “No,” and “Please,” which told him far more than he needed to know.

He slipped into the bed next to Regulus, and gently shook him awake, “Reg? Are you alright?”, albeit to no initial response. 

After trying several times more, the boy shook his head, and blinked his eyes open, tears staining his pale cheeks which were wet and pink, and his eyes, which were puffy and a similar pallor. His normally immaculate hairstyle was tangled and swept about, and James felt weird; he had never seen Regulus not put-together, and it really shook him to see the boy in such a state. 

“James?” he asked, quietly. 

“It’s okay,” James said in response, and Regulus started freshly crying. 

With a start, James realized the other boy was clenching his fists, digging his nails so far into his palms that they were drawing blood. 

Slowly uncurling his fists with his own hands, James asked, “What happened?”

Regulus wiped his tears away, and simply stared at the ceiling, murmuring “Mother.”  
James slipped his arms around him, and Regulus unconsciously leaned in, burying his face in James’ chest, “She won’t get you here. You’re safe,” James said, soothingly. 

“I’m going to have to go back,” Regulus said, his voice shuddering. 

“No you won’t,” James said firmly, “My parents are vying for custody. They have an audience with a Ministry Agent tomorrow.”

In minor shock, Regulus calmed down just a bit, but continued to lean into James.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Yes,” Regulus murmured.

James moved to get up, but Regulus pulled back, “Stay. Please. I can’t…. I can’t be alone right now.”  
“Whatever you need,” James smiled, “I totally understand.”

Regulus gave a small smile, and his eyes slowly drooped closed, as did James’ not long after, the two boys still wrapped in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so oops loll sorry if this was bad but currently i think its good. but also im so tired so my judgentm is impaired,,, it took me a solid five minutes to remember how to coMY KEYBAORD JUST FUCKING DIED AND IT TOOK ME TEN MINUTES TO FIND BATTERIES THAT WEREACTUALLY CHARGED. anyways. i forgot how to conjugate some word. I dont remember what. the amount of time it took me to review and edit it was embarrassing;;;;;  
> finally i hope you guys enjoy this + dont forget to get lots of sleep and drink plenty of water <3


	4. Repercussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The results of Regulus and Sirius' actions come to a breaking point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg so im so sorry this is so late but i was super busy,,, also the notes from the last chapter were embarrassing as FUCK but they're also mildly amusing sooo i'm keeping them,,
> 
> anyways I hope you enjoy <3

**TW: Abuse, Abuse-related scars, referenced Self-Harm (very briefly).**

James woke up the next morning to sunlight streaming in through the blinds, and the bed empty. Golden-orange light was cast across the room, illuminating what few possessions Regulus had had the sense to bring with him, and with a start James realized he had slept in the same bed as the other boy the night before. It wasn’t like it was  _ that _ weird, of course; he had done it with Sirius and Remus before, for a variety of reasons, including loneliness and because their dorm room was never properly ventilated, but for some odd reason it felt different with Regulus. Probably because he was Sirius’ little brother, James realized, his mind latching onto what he thought was the only possible solution. 

He could hear the shower running, and realizing Regulus was inside, he quietly got up from the bed, and after making sure that he hadn’t brought anything with him, he slowly crept out of the room and into the hall, softly clicking the door shut. Luckily, the room was empty, so James darted back into his own room, and freshened up for the day, trying his best to make it appear as if he had slept in his own room. 

Ten minutes later, there was a soft knock at his door, and Regulus was standing there uncomfortably, shifting on his feet. He was only wearing a towel, and was visibly startled by how fast James had opened the door. 

“Hello, um, I was wondering if you had any spare clothes. I...don’t have any. Because when we left I didn’t really have a chance to bring anything.”

James blinked, “Of course, of course. I don’t know if anything I have would fit you, though. Not meaning to be rude, but you’re way shorter than me.”

“Thank you,” Regulus smiled weakly. 

Stepping away for a moment, James dug through his disorganized closet, and eventually came across a deep green pullover and a pair of jeans.

He held them out to Regulus, who looked on in an expression of both disgust and interest.

“Sorry they’re muggle clothes,” James said, “But they’re the only things I could find, at least right now. Plus, I really only wear muggle clothes anyways,” he added, probing Regulus for a reaction. 

The other boy just raised an eyebrow at the last comment, and semi-gratefully took the clothes, “Thanks, Potter.”   
James sighed, “I’ve told you again and again, you should call me James-” he stopped.

There were some odd, unusually pale (even for Regulus) markings on the boy’s left arm. 

Noticing his expression, Regulus buried his forearm under the jeans.    
“What was that,” James asked, trying in vain to maintain his composure. 

“What was what?” Regulus asked, sounding faintly panicked.    
“What the blood hell d’you think? I’m not stupid. Show me your arm.”

Regulus’ brow furrowed, and he shakily pulled his arm out, looking away. 

James drew in a sharp breath, seeing scars all up and down the inner side of Regulus’ arm. With growing horror, he realized the vast majority were words, carved into his skin, the largest of which was plastered on the underside of his forearm, reading “ _ Toujours Pur _ ”.

So this was why Regulus always wore long sleeves. Even in the summer. This was why he was so jumpy when anyone touched him. This was why he flinched whenever someone at his table in the Great Hall mentioned his family. 

It was obvious that the vast majority were not self-inflicted, although some were clearly of the other variety, which was even more concerning. 

“Who did this to you,” James said through gritted teeth, although he already knew the answer. 

Regulus opened and closed his mouth, and then looked down.    
“This,” James said, “Is  _ very _ illegal. Magical mutilation has been illegal for centuries.”

“It’s not mutilation,” Regulus said, quietly. 

James responded sharply, “Then what is it? Punishment? No normal family punishes their kids like this. What you went though is horrible, and frankly very illegal.”

Regulus clenched his fists softly, although his anger was not directed at James, “This… this is the way things are. What they did. It’s how things are at my house.”   
“That’s not your house anymore.”

“How do you know that?” Regulus cried, “How do you know they won’t send me back? I can’t-” his voice shook, “I can’t go back.”   
“You won’t. Not if me, or my parents have anything to say about it.”

Regulus threw his face in his hands, “You have  _ no idea _ what you’re talking about. My parents will do whatever they can to get what they want,” he cried, before running out of the room, leaving James to his own thoughts. 

Breakfast was quite awkward, with Regulus sitting at the far end of the massive table, silently picking at his food, and leaving as soon as Mr. and Mrs. Potter left to go run errands in Diagon Alley. 

Sirius, of course, either didn’t notice or didn’t care, and spent the entire time talking overwhelmingly loudly with James, a genuine smile occupying his face for the first time in months. 

“What’s his deal?” Sirius asked.    
“Hm?” James mused, startled up from staring off into space. 

“Regulus. He’s being all weird this morning.”

“What do you mean?” James asked, growing concerned that Sirius, too, had suffered the same treatment as his brother. 

“He’s being.. jumpy. I don’t know how else to describe it. ‘S odd.”

James nodded slowly, but was again interrupted by Sirius; “Did you tell him something?”

He jumped, “Um. No. I didn’t.”

Sirius looked at him curiously, “Alright then.”

“I’m going to the library. Going to look at legal codes for the trial. Wanna come with?”

Sirius’ smile faded, “I’m fine here. I don’t want to think about.. tomorrow.”

James pulled him in for a hug, “Hey, it’s okay. You’ll be safe here. There’s no way they’ll win.”

“They had better not,” Sirius said flatly, digging his nails into his palms. 

The Potter’s library, for all muggle purposes, did not exist. It didn’t show up on non-magical floor plans, and it’s existence could be erased, for lack of a better term, when the Potter’s needed it to be. 

It was composed of soaring, arched ceilings, and dark-wood paneled walls, inlaid with extensive bookshelves. Almost every wall space was occupied with shelves, save for the far wall, which was inlaid with an intricate mural that simulated the light of the back garden. A glowing model of the solar system was suspended in midair near the ceiling, with the model sun acting as a massive pendant lamp. 

James got ahold of the rolling ladder, and slid it down to the Ministry codes section, underneath where Jupiter and its moons were currently orbiting. 

The books were absolutely massive, and by the time he had finally found the one on child custody clauses, Neptune and Triton had just passed over him. 

He took one big step off the ladder, and prepared to head into the living room to sit down and read, but Regulus materialized in the doorway. 

“Reg?” James asked.

Regulus rubbed his arms uncomfortably, wearing a loose-fitting, pastel blue knitted sweater, likely something Euphemia had given him, considering James had never ever seen it, nor would he ever wear it. 

“Well hello,” James smiled, “Where’ve you been?”

“I just.. had to think for a bit.”

“Are you okay now?”

“Yes, I think.”

“Want to talk about it?” James asked softly. 

Regulus nodded, looking down at the carpet. 

“Come over here, let’s sit,” James said, motioning to the small sofa near the mural. 

Regulus sat down, shoulders tensed and his body visibly poised to run off. 

James gave a small, sad laugh, noticing just how damaged the boy was. “They’re not here. You can relax.”

Regulus nodded, but only appeared slightly less tense. 

“So?” James started.

“I’ve seen the way you look at Sirius. Worried. LIke you are for me. But they never got him as bad. When Mother couldn’t tame him, she took it out on me. Not like I could ever push back,” Regulus laughed sarcastically. 

“But you did. That night you left.”

Regulus looked at him quizzically, “I guess I did. But I don’t want you to tear yourself up over him. I mean, you never,  _ ever _ talk about your own problems. And it’s not just because you haven’t said anything since I’ve gotten here, I’ve literally never heard you ever talk about your own issues.”

James furrowed his brow, “Well, my issues aren’t as bad.”

“It doesn’t mean you don’t have any. Just because some of your friend’s problems might be worse doesn’t mean you can suppress your own.”

James opened and closed his mouth, “Hey, wait a second. We’re talking about you, not me.”

“This is what I’m talking about,” Regulus rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t try to distract me from this. It’s important, the hearing is tomorrow.”

Regulus paled, “I.. I don’t want to think about it.”

“It’s going to happen either way, might as well accept it,” James shrugged, “I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just being honest. Don’t let anything your parents do catch you by surprise.”

“Well, you never know what they’ve got hidden up their sleeves,” Regulus spat, before turning and looking at James, who only just now noticed the tears welling in the boy’s silver eyes; “I had doubts about doing it.”

“Doing what?”

“What do you think? Disarming my Mum and leaving with Sirius. And this is what I’ve got to show for it,” he lifted up his wavy dark hair with one hand, showing off the bandage above his left eyebrow.

“Was it worth it?” James asked. 

“Obviously,” Regulus said, “I wouldn’t have anything else.”

“So you are brave. And strong.”

“No I’m not.”   
“Yes, you are. Not only did you survive their shit for years, and take the heat for your  _ older _ brother, but you had the courage to stand up to, arguably, several of the strongest dark witches in the country.”

“Only two,” Regulus said, “Bella and… my Mum. Everyone else was kind of just watching. But those few good things are outweighed by all the horrible shit I’ve done before.”

“Don’t live in the past,” James chided him, “Think about the future; what you could be.”

Regulus smiled up at him “Thank you so much-”

“Well, well, well, this is where everyone is,” Sirius exclaimed from the other side of the room, “Since when have my nutter little brother and best mate been so close?”

“Fuck off, Sirius,” Regulus spat.

“Looks like someone’s a bit plastered,” Sirius smirked. 

Regulus’ lips hardened into a thin line, and he stormed out of the room, knocking Sirius in the shoulder on his way out. 

“Oi, leave him alone,” James said, lightly shoving Sirius in the shoulder. 

“Jamie, what’s wrong?” Sirius laughed, “I didn’t know yous were mates.”

“He’s been through just as much, if not more, than you have. Give him a break,” James sighed. 

“He was horrible to us for years, Prongsie,” Sirius said, concerned, “Let’s not forget how he’s tried  _ multiple times _ to out Remus for both his sexuality and his.. other status.”

Growing oddly defensive, James responded, “Don’t base someone off the past. Plus, he turned out remarkably well for someone with a child like him.”

“Oh, piss off. We grew up in the same house, and look at me.”

“You didn’t have the same childhood, though.”

“The fuck do you know about it?”

“Regulus told me. About how he would face the brunt of the punishments. About how you were always given second and third and even more chances because you were the heir. You fought your parents, and unintentionally deflected their anger onto him. I know you didn’t mean to, but you can at least afford your  _ little brother _ the benefit of the doubt.”

Briefly looking shocked before growing angry, Sirius said flatly, “And what would Moony have to say about that?”

James glared at him, “I don’t want to be mad at you, but if you keep bringing in random things to make me feel bad, that may change. He’s your brother, for Merlin’s sake. Plus, he’s the one that saved your arse, it’s not like you did everything on your own this time.”

“I could’ve,” Sirius muttered. 

“No, you couldn’t have,” James cried, “You were out cold on the floor. Regulus stood up to your mother for the  _ first  _ time. And it’s not like he made it away unscathed.”

“It  _ was not _ the first time he stood up to her,” Sirius stated. 

“Did he disarm her before?”

“Well…. no.”

“I didn’t think so. I’m not mad, but  _ please _ , just be nice to him. He’s really damaged.”

“You’ve only talked to him for two days, how do you know all that already.”

“Pads, not to be mean, but I probably talked to him more in the past 24 hours than you did in the past two years.”

“Whatever,” Sirius muttered.    
“Just be nice. Please.”

Sirius glared at him.    
“WhAt WoULd mOoNy sAy,” James mimicked, easing the tension. 

“Oi, shut up,” Sirius laughed, throwing a pillow at him. 

Regulus did eventually emerge from his room in the evening, but he neglected to speak to James, or even look in Sirius’ general direction. Euphemia and Fleamont only got home shortly before dinner, so they heated up some leftover Chana Masala and Vegetable Pakoras, which were surprisingly good, considering that they were nearly four days old at that point. 

As soon as he could leave, Regulus went to bed, and eventually, James and Sirius had to as well, because James’ parents wanted them to ‘get a nice, healthy sleep’ the night before the hearing. 

James tried not to be disappointed when Regulus didn’t come to see him that night, and he fell asleep after quite a while, waking up feeling mildly ill and sad. 

Fleamont had made them porridge for breakfast, and Regulus appeared for the meal quite late, looking extremely pale and shaky. Euphemia had selected proper outfits for all three of them, and even attempted to tame James’ hair, albeit to very limited success. 

The three boys looked like a trio of shell-shocked soirée guests, owing to their sickly complexions and unusually fancy clothes and hairstyles, and before too long, Remus appeared in the fireplace with Hope, the two looking equally terrified as Regulus and Sirius. 

They flooed into the ministry, and as it was Hope’s first time in the main hall, she stared around in a mix of wonder and total fear, having to be dragged along by her son. They crossed the plaza, past the fountain, and boarded a small elevator, taking it up several levels to a hearing room, which was completely empty, save for a pair of Ministry judges at the central dais, and two clerks next to each set of seats on the opposite sides of the room. 

Almost as soon as the three parents and three boys were situated, Walburga and Orion entered, casting an imposing presence over the room. 

The Matriarch had her hair done up in an intricate, tall hairstyle, and was wearing a tight-fitting black dress, adorned with an extensive collection of green and silver jewels. Orion’s dark hair was cropped close to his head, and slicked black, and his black suit was accentuated by a deep green cloak. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Black, a pleasure,” one of the judges greeted, clearly trying to suck up to two of Britain’s wealthiest citizens. 

“Let’s get on with it,” Walburga snapped in her usual clipped tone. 

The other judge clapped her hands, “Ah, yes. The matter of child custody. Now, we have several documents regarding the treatment of your children submitted by Mr. and Mrs. Potter-”

“We don’t have time for that,” Walburga interrupted, “These children are clearly beyond saving,” she cast a particularly nasty glance at Sirius, who was busy fixating on a specific pattern in the rug, “And they’ve betrayed us more than we can tolerate,” she added, looking at her other son with a look of pure hate. 

Tears started to appear in Regulus’ eyes, and James so wanted to go up and slap her right then and there. 

“You… don’t want your children?” the other judge asked. 

“No,” she said flatly, “We’re only concerned with transferring the heir status.”

“You could’ve done that anywhere. Why here? Why now?” Mrs. Potter asked. 

Turning with an evil smile on her face, Walburga faced James’ Mother, “Ah,  _ Euphemia _ , pleasure to see you again,” she cooed in a sickly-sweet tone, “Remind me again what type of granite your sister’s headstone is made of?”

Euphemia clenched her first, and reached for her wand, only to be stopped by Fleamont, “Eu, not now.”

“ _ Fleamont _ , the little lapdog,” she continued, “I’m surprised you haven’t been fired from the Ministry yet.”

“ _ What the fuck _ ,” James muttered. 

“Tell me about it,” Sirius responded, in a low voice, “Real old bitch, innit.”

Walburga flicked her wand, and Sirius’ head slammed against the table in front of him, “Never speak ill of your mother,” she hissed. 

Sirius groaned in pain, cradling his forehead. 

Hope gasped, and Euphemia’s tone grew inflamed, “How  _ dare _ you do that in here.”   
The judges looked on in utter shock, before one gathered their wits together, and asked, “So, who… who did you have in mind.”

“Bellatrix. Bellatrix Black.”

“Yes.. of course. It’ll be transferred right away. Is that… all?”

“Yes,” Orion responded, speaking for the first time since he had arrived. 

“So,” the other judge continued, still staring at Walburga in shock, “Full custody of Regulus Arcturus Black and Sirius Orion Black is transferred to…. Euphemia Chaudhary Potter and Fleamont Henry Potter until the two boy’s respective 18th birthdays.”

“That will suffice,” Mrs. Black sniffed. 

The judge tapped his wand on the parchment, signing it, as to make it official, and the hearing was over. 

“What the bloody hell just happened,” James asked Sirius, right as Regulus ran up to Walburga; “Mummy,” he called out. 

She turned and glared at him with pure hatred, “Coward,” she hissed, and slapped him across the face, a sharp crack reverberating throughout the room. 

“ _ Walburga _ ,” Euphemia cried. 

The other woman only glanced at her, before turning back to face her now-estranged sons. 

“You,” she said, looking at Regulus, “Betrayed and ran away from our family. You will never be welcomed back. It wasn’t like I ever loved you anyways,” she spat.

Then to Sirius, “If you ever decide to change your ways, your status is still valuable. Consider that next time you associate with,” she turned and glared at Remus, “ _ that _ kind of person.”

She then spun on her heel, and grabbed her husband by the wrist, storming out of the room. 

Regulus stared at the spot where she had been, staring in shock, tears rolling down his cheeks. Sirius was in much the same state, except instead of looking sad, he looked angry, yet also absolutely afraid. 

The rest of the day went by in a blur, with Walburga sending Kreacher to drop off all of Regulus and Sirius’ possessions rather unceremoniously on the Potter’s front doorstep. After helping Sirius settle in, Remus and Hope flooed back to their own house, and James owled Peter, informing him of what had happened. 

James tried to check on Regulus, but the boy had yet to even make a noise from his room, so he didn’t want to intrude. 

After dinner, which Regulus did show up to briefly, the rest of them watched a movie on the muggle television set that Fleamont had purchased earlier in the year, watching the new film called  _ Robin Hood _ . It was actually quite good for a muggle film, yet James still couldn’t wrap his head around how they animated so much without a magical camera. 

When the movie was finally over, and Euphemia had long since gone to sleep, James helped Sirius up to bed, and the boy immediately passed out, his peaceful face framed by his long black locks. 

As James walked down the hall, tracing his finger in the paneling, he heard muffled sobs emerging from Regulus’ room. 

He waited for a moment, and then, against his better judgement, he slowly opened the door, “Reggie?”

The noises stopped. 

“Are you alright?”

“No,” the other boy said quietly. 

“Do you want someone to be with you for a bit?”

He stayed silent for a moment.

“Yes please.”

James smiled, “Want to come into my room? The bed is bigger and the room is slightly warmer.”

Regulus stirred and then slowly got out of bed, his eyes puffy and red, and his cheeks still wet with tears.

“Come on,” James motioned, leading him to his room, swinging the door open. 

Regulus’ eyes widened at all the red and gold, but as soon as James pulled back the covers on the bed, the other boy immediately climbed inside and resumed burying his face in a pillow. 

After James had prepared for bed, and changed into Pajamas, he slipped under the sheets next to Regulus. 

“Hey, how are you?”

“How do you think?”

“Well, I’m here whenever you need me.”

Regulus turned around and smiled, “Thanks, James.”

James smirked, “You called me James.”

The other boy rolled his eyes, and made a hybrid sniffle-laugh noise.

“Not to ruin the moment, but do you have any tissues?” he asked. 

James smiled, and handed Regulus the tissue box from his bedside table. 

“Thanks, Potter.”

James made an expression of mock sadness, “Noooooo, go back to James, I liked that better.”

“Goodnight, James,” Regulus smiled. 

“Goodnight, Reggie,” James smiled back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so regulus is going to own up for his past actions, but this wasn't the chapter for it. 
> 
> I hope it's not super obvious that I'm projecting myself onto James.. hahhahahaha,,,, anyways James is pan bc im a pan man and i say so
> 
> anyways have a nice day and dont forget to drink water, ok?


	5. Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end of the Winter Hols, and much progress is lost (or is it?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so VERY IMPORTANT yes this is late but it’s because i was planning out where this fic is going to end up.. ANYWAYS EVEN MORE IMPORTANT this is the end of the first phase of this fic. Each chapter from now on will take place on important days throughout the rest of James and Regulus’ lives, giving clear (if brief) views into what will happen to them. Because of that, this may be a bit shorter than expected, but I’m aiming for AT THE VERY LEAST 20k words. (at the very least). But ig we’ll see what happens.
> 
> ALSO: FOR SOME REASON I WASNT GETTING COMMENT NOTIFS?? SO IF YOU COMMENTED AND I DIDNT RESPOND UNTIL NOW IM SO SORRY AO3 IS A BITCH SOMETIMES

It had only been a couple days since the trial, and Sirius had completely gotten used to life with the Potter’s. His room already looked like he had lived there for at least several months, and he spent every waking minute with James, although he refused to leave the safety of the Potter’s home. He tried to act like he just wanted to get used to living there, but James could tell that it was because of another reason; he didn’t feel safe anywhere his parents could get to them. James tried to talk to them about what they had said to both him and Regulus, but Sirius completely brushed aside what was said to his younger brother, only concerned with what he considered to be their “Creepy interest in my inheritance status”. 

Regulus, on the other hand, had barely left his room since that day; only emerging for meals and to use the bathroom. Yesterday, James had (for the first time since the trial) seen Regulus speaking to someone aside from himself; Euphemia. He had been growing closer to James’ Mum, but every time he looked up at her, he would jolt away. Even though he would never dare to ask Regulus why, James surmised that it was because he mistook her for Walburga, and then got scared when he realized the woman that was comforting him was not his own mother. 

It was the last day before they were due to leave, when James walked in on Regulus in the foyer, fiddling with his wand in front of the large mirror. The way he was waving it in front of his eyes confused James; he had never seen someone use their wand in that way.

“Oi, Reggie, what’re you doing?”

The boy jumped, and spun around, fumbling with his wand before stuffing it into his pocket. For some odd reason he was covering his eyes, in the way one would when it was overly bright outside. 

After a moment, still confused, James asked again, “Reg, what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” he mumbled, trying to get around James and get to the stairs. 

James stopped him with a hand on his shoulder, concerned, “Is everything alright?”

“ _It’s fine_ ,” Regulus snapped, and in his little outburst, he accidentally threw his arm down to his side, exposing his eyes. 

James nearly jumped in surprise; instead of the usual piercing silver eyes he was used to, they were instead replaced by two different-colored eyes; one a warm brown, and the other a striking hazel. 

“Woah,” was all James was able to say, before Regulus clutched his wrist in a vice-like grip. 

“Don’t you ever tell anyone. _Ever_.”

“Why?”

Regulus blinked, at a loss for words, “I… what do you mean _why_?”

“Well, why would anyone care?”

“It’s not.. It’s not the standard. I have to have the Black family eyes. I have to revert them every morning. It’s what’s expected.”

“Not here, it isn’t. Your eyes are a part of you, and even though I feel kind of like a broken record, you don’t have to change yourself to fit in with what other people expect.”

Regulus glared at him, “ _Stop getting in my head_.”

“I’m not.”

“ _Yes you are_ .”  
“How? I’m just telling it like it is?”

“What? No- _no_ you’re _not_. You’re being annoying,” Regulus sputtered. 

“If you say so, Just remember you don’t have to keep this stupid facade up anymore,” James said, walking out of the room, leaving Regulus to himself. 

Later that afternoon, James was outside going to get a package from the owl roost, when he ran into Regulus in the garden, holding a small parcel of letters.

“Hey Reg,” James smiled, trying to get back on his good side. 

“James,” Regulus nodded curtly. 

“What’re you doing?”

There was a brief silence, and a small breeze blew through the garden, blowing Regulus’ hair out of the way, and illuminating his eyes in the waning sunlight. 

With a start, James realized he hadn’t spelled his eyes sivler yet, and when Regulus continued to eye him suspiciously, he decided to bring it up. 

“Your eyes, they’re, um.. their natural color.”

Regulus blinked, and smoothed his hair back down, “Yeah, um, I guess they are.”

James gave a small laugh, “So, you took my advice?”

Regulus rolled his eyes, the golden light bringing out his freckles and long eyelashes, distracting James for just a moment, for some odd reason. 

“I didn’t exactly take it to heart. But you _may_ have had a point. It wasn’t necessarily worth it to keep spelling them every morning.”

Regulus was about to walk away, but James stopped him, “What d’you have there. If you don’t mind me asking, of course.”  
Regulus’ smile faded, “It’s just.. um..”

“What?”

“I tried to send some letters to my parents.”

James struggled to maintain a neutral attitude; “Did they write back?”

“No. These are returned. The seal was broken though.”

“Want to open them? They may have added something.”

“Maybe,” Regulus smiled hopefully, one of the only true smiles James had ever seen from him. He had never really noticed before how when Regulus smiled, his eyes crinkled at the corner, and a small dimple appeared in his right cheek. It was cute.

Of course, it disappeared all too soon, and Regulus’ smile vanished nearly in tandem with a cloud passing in front of the Sun. 

Each and every letter was completely charred, disappearing into ash that floated away into the breeze, the moment he touched them. 

He stood there in shock for a moment, and tears started to prick at his eyes while his usual, indifferent, expression faltered. Clenching his fists, Regulus heaved an oddly ragged breath, and rubbed his eyes, before putting back on a look of distaste. 

“Is everything - is everything okay?” James asked, concerned. 

“It’s fine. I’m going inside.”

“Are you sure? You don’t want to talk about it?”

“ _I said I don’t_ -” he paused, “You know what? Fine. But don’t tell Sirius.”  
“I swear,” James said, failing to conceal his grin.  
“Why are you smiling.”

“Just happy that you’re opening up to me. ‘S all.”

“Alright then,” Regulus looked at him with a weird glint in his beautiful eyes. “It was a magical seal. They shouldn’t have been able to do this. At least not without significant effort. And I know for a fact they didn’t read it because I set a charm up to notify me if they did.”

James blinked, struggling to comprehend everything. “So, let me get this straight. Not only did they go _out of their way_ to cause you pain, but they didn’t even read your letters.” James felt a familiar rage bubbling up inside him, like that of when Sirius told his horror stories of growing up at Grimmauld place; what his parents subjected him and Regulus to. 

“James, it’s fine,” Regulus said, looking at him oddly. 

“No, _it’s not_ . You’ve got to stop making excuses for them. You do this _all the time_. It’s really shitty and even if you think it’s only harming you, how do you think Sirius feels? And I’m not saying at all that that should be the main factor. You need to think about if it’s really worth it, all the pain and suffering, to keep excusing their behavior. Because, is it really?”

Regulus opened and closed his mouth, and a long pause fell over the two of them. 

“No,” he said softly.  
James gave a small smile, “There we go. Do you mind if I hug you.”

Regulus looked at him, confused, then nodded. 

James had never really noticed before, and maybe it was because the house move, or maybe because he had been helping Euphemia in the kitchen, but Regulus smelled like cardamom. 

“You smell good,” James said absentmindedly. 

“That’s a weird thing to say,” Regulus mumbled, his face resting on James’ shoulder. 

“Sorry. ‘Was just thinking out loud.”

“It’s fine, Jamie.”

James’ brow furrowed, “Since when did you call me that?”

“Um;” James felt Regulus’ muscles tense up. 

“Hey, hey, there’s nothing wrong. I was just surprised.”

Regulus slowly pulled away, and looked at James with a small smile on his face. 

“Well, I didn’t really mean to. I guess I was thinking out loud too.”

James rolled his eyes, “ _Haha_. Let’s go in and set the table. It’s so weird that you’re doing chores with me. As if… you know, everything else didn’t happen.”

“Whatever. What cutlery are we using?”

“I dunno. Ask my Dad.”

“Alright.”

The next morning, Regulus, of course, was ready to leave at 9am sharp, while Sirius, rather unsurprisingly, had neglected to get out of bed until 8:50. 

Euphemia, her hair done up in a tall bun, yelled up the stairs for him and James, who was helping the older brother finish packing; “Boys, let’s go. We don’t have forever.”

“Coming,” James called back, before turning to Sirius and whispering, “ _Come on_ , we have to go. I told you to pack last night. And didn’t you set an alarm for this morning?”

“Yes and yes. But I ignored all that.”  
Exasperated, James threw his face in his hands, “I really wish Moony were here right now.”

“And why is that?” Sirius asked, bemused.  
“He would know how to shut you up and get you going.”

“Oi, be quiet,” Sirius guffawed, punching James in the arm playfully. 

“ _Let’s go!”_ Euphemia repeated from the foyer. 

“Pads! Speed the fuck up.”

“Jamie, I’m going as fast as I can.”

James snickered. 

Sirius looked confused for a moment, before realizing. “That wasn’t even dirty! Why d’you always have to add in stuff that isn’t there!”

“I wasn’t the one that said it,” James smirked. 

“Well you’re the one that imagined it,” Sirius said, grunting as he shoved his last sweater into the trunk, and clicked it shut; “Done.”

“Let’s go, then, “James stated. 

“Alright, boss.”

James cuffed him on the ear, and Sirius just laughed in response. 

The journey to Kings Cross was quiet, with Sirius’ mood dropping as soon as the Potter’s cab passed through his old neighborhood (cabs were the easiest way to get around, as apparition into platform 9 ¾ was prohibited). 

The tension in the air of the cab was palpable, Euphemia and Fleamont were quietly talking in the middle row, ignoring three adolescent boys who were shoved in the back row, and the muggle driver, who was humming to himself in the driver’s seat. 

Sirius was coping with his feelings by launching on a litany of complaints about school and the train ride; talking about everything except for the houses they were passing, all of which looked nearly identical to Grimmauld Place. 

Regulus, doing much the opposite, was busy focusing on an obscure spot on the back of the chair, fiddling with his shoelaces and tuning out everything except for his own thoughts. 

After an agonizing thirty or so minutes, the car rolled to a stop by Kings Cross Square, and Euphemia paid the driver, while Fleamont and the boys unloaded the small bags they had placed their items into. James’ Mum had charmed several small bags to hold nearly twenty times the volume they appeared to have from the outside, so they could easily hold more than all of their things. 

  
  


At first glance, the passerby in the station looked just as normal as they would any other day, but if you looked closely, you would notice dozens of people in odd garments, many lugging piles of trunks and cages with animals in them. For some reason, those that were not of magical blood wouldn't notice any of these people; they weren’t even able to look in the general direction of the barrier into the Hogwarts Platform. James vaguely remembered hearing something about distractor spells being employed in most major train stations that the various Hogwarts Express trains stopped at, but the memory was fuzzy, so he wasn’t exactly sure. 

Remus and Peter were waiting on the platform, and Sirius and James immediately ran up to them, the thought of Regulus slipping their minds for a moment. 

“Mooooony,” Sirius drawled, trying to get on the other boy’s nerves; “Shut it,” Moony said with a smile, taking him in for a hug. 

“Hey, Pete,” James said, trying to distract attention from yet another one of Remus and Sirius’ unusually long hugs, “How’ve you been?”

“Fine, I guess. Barely saw any of you guys over the hols.”

“Honestly, you’re lucky you didn’t. It was a mess at my house the past week or so.”

“Really? I didn’t hear much from my Mum.”

“I’m not sure there’s much we can talk about, honestly. One of Walburga and Orions’ _very_ few requirements was that we not speak about the arrangement. 

“So, are like, Sirius and his brother legally your brothers now?”

James paused, “Yes and no. They have all the protections that they would have if they were, but technically, they’re independent.”

Peter looked like he was about to say something, when a thought popped into James’ mind. _Regulus_ . _Shit_. 

“Hey, Peter, I- I’ll be right back.”

Peter nodded and pulled a tight smile; James completely missing the sour look that followed him as he walked away. 

Regulus was standing over by the barrier, looking a combination of disgusted and lost. 

“Regulus?” James asked, before noticing the boy’s gaze flickering around the room, “What’re you looking for.”

Regulus closed his eyes, and then took a deep breath, “Nothing.”

James sighed, “Please tell me you weren’t looking for your parents.”

“Alright then, I wasn’t.”  
“This isn’t a ‘ _haha funny_ ’ kind of thing. You need to stop focusing on them. I know they’re your parents and all, but think about what they’ve done to you. 

Regulus stayed quiet for a bit, before saying, “I suppose so.”

Changing the conversation, James asked, “D’you want to come sit with us?”

Regulus looked at him quizzically, “Who?”

“Me, Rem, Pete, and Siri.”

A hopeful look grew on his face, but then his eyes changed, and he focused on a group of Slytherins in the distance; his usual snooty look returning to his face. 

“Reg, no,” James started, but Regulus had already pulled out his wand, and reverted his eyes to their cold silver color. 

“Reggie,” James called after the boy, but he was nearly out of earshot in the crowded platform. 

“It’s Regulus,” he snapped, and kept walking, but the hesitation in his step gave James an ounce of hope. 

One last time, Regulus looked back, and just for a moment, James saw something else, something different, on his face, but it quickly disappeared. 

_Their talks had been for nothing_ , James thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woohoo thank youuuu sorry is this is so late . anyways. comments are always welcome and don't forget to drink water td <3

**Author's Note:**

> i just figured out how these total work things work soooo just a little reminder that updates should be once or twice a week


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